A hard decision to make......
I keep reading up on the Terrie Schiavo case...Now I see the House and Senate are both trying to put measures in to place to block the removal of her feeding tube...Her husband and her family have been locked in a bitter battle of what is percieved to be her wishes...I have issues with what is going on...After years of reading about what both sides are saying, what the doctors have been reporting, I actually side for the husband as I have talked with several of my freinds down here about this...I have asked them.."Does your family know your wishes and is it written down somewhere???"
You would actually be amazed at how many of these people have a: told their husbands what they wanted but not other family members and b: have nothing in writing...2 of these people I have spoken have families that would be in the same boat and in court fighting...
This case has prompted me to do exactly that...put my wishes in writing...for years I thought "I'm too young...I don't need to worry" but guys...everyone needs to worry...anything can happen at any moment in our lives...There has to come a time when we need think about what it is that we would want...how we feel about life saving measures, think about every concievable situation and come up with what you want done...talk it over with spouses, boyfreinds, girlfreinds, and family...
I did this and you know what???? There were some really hard choices to make...I had to ask my self those same tough questions...And then I sat down with Michael and Patrick and let them know what I wanted...Should I become incapacitated to where I am termed "in a persistive vegatative state" Don't let me hang on...I don't want that...To me that is no quality of life that I want to have...Please let me die....I also believe in (yes I actually do) leaving this world early should I be diagnosed with a terminal illness...I want to go while I have my dignity...Mike understood but Patrick didn't...I can understand that...he didn't want to deal with the prospect of my death...but I had to make him deal with it...and you know what??? I told him that he also needed to think about it as well...He had a family to think about...
I guess what I am trying to say here is...Think about it, decide and get it in writing...it's the best thing you can do for yourself and for your loved ones...You will probably be moved to tears as you think about it....You may go out and look at your children and ask yourself "What is the right thing for them....How much should I ask them to deal with?" (Yes that is a really tough question) What about my Family....What is the right choice....Only you can answer that...each choice is oh so very personal and priviate, and for each person....different...and one I think everyone needs to think about......
Take care all..........
5 Comments:
I agree with you Tig. I have been following this story for quite some time. And while at first I felt for the parents, I now feel her husband is in the right. She has no brain left- it has been medically proven that it is nothing more than "mush". And the main point of contention- that her hubby is in it for the money, well, that isn't true either. I have read in various reports that there is NO money to be had by him. The "life-insurnce policy" that he is supposedly "aiming" for was cashed out long ago to pay for her medical expenses! So he gets nothing monitary from her death. Only the peace of mind that he followed through with her last wishes.
And after all the health problems I've had in recent years, I have a "living will" and a document signed by our lawyer, stating exactly what I want, and don't want done for/with me. My Jon knows, but my Mom may have had other ideas. She and I don't agree when it comes to what I want done- when I'm gone. She wants the full funeral- Me, cremate me, and scatter my ashes someplace nice. I don't want anyone sniveling over my grave. Let them remember me as I am/was! - Sorry, off my soapbox now :-)
Don't worry! You're on no soapbox here!
It is truly sad...this story...I knew about the money also...he really doesn't get anything...I have a feeling his wife and he had casually talked about this...never dreaming this would happen...she stated her wishes and all he's trying to do is carry them out...her parents-while I can understand, this is thier baby girl-need to realize that she's not coming back...they are seeing something that just isn't there...they can hope all they want but it's just not there...
We have made plans long ago. If something should happen to the both of us, we have plans where our daughter goes.
As a family, we had to turn off the machines on both parents. It's the hardest thing to do.
I agree with the husband in this case ...
Yes, it is hard to withhold care from a loved one, but IMHO it is selfish not to do so.
This woman's parents are holding on for themselves, not for her ... she has no life. None at all. I wouldn't want to see anyone "live" like this woman has.
My aunt and uncle were in an accident many years ago. My uncle died in the wreck and they "saved" my aunt.
But, they didn't really. She was alive, but her mind was gone and for the next six years she was in a nursing home being fed through tubes.
She could talk, but she didn't know anyone, couldn't read or write or hold a real conversation.
I do think she would have been better off to have died at the accident because she had no quality of life in those six years before she died. She was almost like an infant.
And, I too will get off the soapbox ... sorry bout that ...
Oh Rhonda! Don't feel sorry about what you said...I can understand how you must have felt...I never want to see myself or one of my family members like this person is...And you're right...the parents are holding onto her for themselves...
I am so disgusted with what's going on in the Senate and House...I can only hope that if the it does go back into the hands of the Federal Judges that they again rule as every other judge has....in favor of the Husband...
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