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Just a tad bit tired today....Kairi does like to stick to a nighttime schedule and it's every 2 hours!!! Not that I minded...I cat-napped on Sunday in between doing loads of laundry....it's hard to believe that tomorrow she is going to be 3 weeks old already...She's changed so much already! You can see her struggling to keep more awake...makes her cranky at times...but other than that...she is wonderful! Manisa is doing well and I really enjoy spending the time with her and the baby...all the knowledge that I had from years ago in dealing with babies comes right back to me...
And speaking of...I already posed this question to Lisa...but I'd like to hear what all of your opinions are...See Mike and Patrick think one way with Manisa siding with the way I think...No it hasn't started WWIII in our house but it's been discussed heavily....
I had always been told (and this is what I believe to be true) that in the first 3 months (aprox) you can never pick baby up too much...especially if she is crying...When baby cries...you can and should pick her up and reassure her...Crying is the only means of communication they have...but you check to see if she hungry...diaper needs changing or she just needs a cuddle...I do know that babies also cry for just about any reason but you won't spoil her by picking her up when she cries...In fact you are telling her that you are there and will take care of her...Obviously this is what Manisa and I think...Patrick and Michael think that it is okay to leave the baby cry as long as they aren't hungry or have a dirty diaper...(And let me tell you....Kairi is quite capable of Atomic Diapers! hahaha) They think that this is not good for the baby and you need to let them know whose the boss right away! (isn't it obvious they are men????? And are acting like it???? )
Ladies....What say you?????? and if there are any men out there...what are your opinions???
10 Comments:
I can see this being a problem when they grow older but this early in the stage... NO!
You girls keep picking that baby up!
Oh and I haven't gotten my picture link yet... :(
I agree with Mike and Patrick. Sometimes babies are just having a fussy day and they need to be allowed to learn to settle themselves down.
Stacy
Here's what I told Laura when she asked me this question:
Newborns should be picked up. Always. You cannot spoil them. At that age they aren't trying to manipulate you, or establish their place in the family hierarchy.
Not picking them up and reassuring them and thus acknowledging their need is not teaching them who's boss--its neglect (sorry to disagree with you Stacy--but as you'll see, I've got reasons).
Numerous research studies have shown that babies which do not receive attention during this critical period when they request fail to thrive--they gain less weight and their stress hormones stay too high, which over time is as bad for them as it is for adults. The human contact is as important in their physical development as adequate nutrition.
Patrick and Mike--macho attitudes and babies don't mix. Pick Kairi up now whenever she "asks"--she'll be healthier and you'll start forming a much stronger bond with her.
Lisa
If you think about it....they've just been expelled from the warm, secure home they've known for 9 months....they can't talk and express their feelings, so crying is their only way to communicate. Sometimes, they just want to know that Mom, Dad or Grandma is there to protect them.
I don't see anything wrong with picking them up at this stage.
Actually I can understand what I think Stacy is saying...There are times (Usually at night) when Kairi does fuss...makes little noises while she's trying to settle herself down...trying to get comfortable and such...she may whine everso gently..Manisa and I actually let her fuss on her own...as long as it doesn't turn into full blown crying and soon she's back into snoozeville...It's when she just out right cries that we pick her up and soothe her down...I think there is a difference with being fussy and just outright crying...
Jules-I will need your email address so I can send you the link...I put my home and work email in the post before this one so you can email me and either one and I will be happy to send you the link...
Here is the addy peaches...
Envy.69@gmail.com
Look forward to seeing this baby girl!
Lisa,
Not to argue with you, but does Nick in anyway sound like a child that was deprived of attention when he was an infant?
I didn't walk around with him on my hip 24/7 when he was a baby and he had colic. Hence he wasn't just fussing, he screamed 22 hours of a day.
I'm not saying that babies shouldn't be comforted, or it's a "My way or the highway" deal.
Babies do have their moments like Laura said. Sometimes even in those times whether they are being held or not, they still are not happy and alittle fussing with a parent close by and listening isn't going to do any harm.
Parents that run to their infants for every little noise they make causes more problems in the end. Babies make all kinds of noises, not all of them are bad ones.
Stacy
In case people get confused about this...let me clarify what I am talking about...Where we differ is this...Let's say for example Kairi has just been fed and her diaper changed...Those needs have been met...you lay her down in the bassinet/couch/floor on a blanket...she starts crying/screaming...Yes...you need to pick up that child and see what's wrong...Soothe her down, cuddle her, coo to her, let her know you are there...check to see if anything obvious can be wrong...(Believe it or not a missplaced diaper tape will cause her to cry and loudly!) now if same situation and Kairi is just making light fussy noises (oh I wish I could explain what I mean here)Yeah...Manisa and I will wait to see if she settles down...make sure she's okay...she tends to fuss a bit when you put her down until she settles in...nothing major..BUT...If fussy turns into crying...then it's Mom or Grandma to the rescue!!!!! Now if you ask Mike or Patrick...If all her needs are met and you cannot find a reason for her crying (for some reason-just wanting Mom or Dad never pops into these guys heads) it's perfectly okay to let them lay there and cry/scream...This is what I do NOT think is okay to do...ah but I think they read the old Dr Spock book...you know the one he wrote before he had kids????
I hope this clarifys things for everyone!
I certainly do appreciate all the comments!!!
I should have explained what I meant. It was in my head, I just didn't think it would turn into I'm all for allowing a infant to scream for hours on end.
Yes, if an infant is uncomfortable or what have you, then yes they need to be held, have their backs rubbed, ect... However, just because they are "complaining" not to be confused with screaming, no, I don't think they need to be picked up for every little odd noise that comes out of them.
It's also fair to say that not all infants act and react the same way. Some babies don't like to be held and cuddled as much as others. Some prefer being burped in one position over an other. They are all different just like adults.
Manisa will learn what all those cries mean with time. All of them mean something different, however it will be a learning process for her and grandma of course.
Stacy
I'm all for holding newborns as much as humanly possible.
A crying baby may need nothing more than a human touch and that is enough reason for me.
I agree with Stacy when the child is older ... but at this age, no child should be left to cry ...
Just my humble opinion. :-)
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